To the church of salem

Dear church,
i feel i have been falsely accused of committing acts against God for the Devil. Your accusations have been many and heavily punished, but I am not a criminal, nor a victim of witchcraft. I am a man of God, pure throughout. in my accusation you stated i had sent my spirit to a woman in her sleep on the night of November 26th, but on that night i was on a great hunt with my relatives, leaving no way for me to be anywhere near this woman. you can ask my old uncle Jacob, or my cousin Peter for an alibi. I even have the elk to prove my actions.

sincerely
Ryan